New Years Resolutions vs. Goals

There are resolutions and there are goals. What’s the difference and how to achieve them? With the New Year, many make resolutions, go gung ho for a while then trail off and feel like failures and not achieve what they want. Others opt out of resolutions scoffing at the very concept.

First, it’s never too late to make a resolution. But most of the time we make ones that we should do rather than ones we really truly want to do. Ones that we find enjoyable and love going at. Those are the kinds of resolutions that you’re likely to truly stick to.

So let’s define Resolutions = Fun. Give yourself permission to do things you ordinarily dismiss as frivolous or ones that others don’t appreciate like playing games, doing art, reading comics, and all the things that deep down inside you love but don’t do at least not often.

As for the typical resolutions that most people make, those are really goals that require forming habits. Losing weight. Getting fit. Living within a budget. They require the black belt quality of persistence. Consistency. And that’s hard to build them into a habit, because they’re often not fun to do, only to achieve. And then there’s the maintenance once you hit your target goal. How does one get there?

My top tips to goal success?

2. Make your goal fun, adding game elements.

3. Find people who know how to help you.

1. A social aspect — a buddy, a mentor, an instructor — gives you outside accountability AND encouragement.

They can help you see the progress you’ve made when you’re discouraged. They can help you want to see them and experience them and in the process do what you have to do. Go to your exercise class. Weigh in. Write down your expenses and income.

2. Make it a game. A friendly competition. Maybe even a goofy one like how many days you can go on a single tank of gas. Or not using your credit cards. Just like when you were a kid and tried not to step on sidewalk cracks. So the process becomes interesting. One reason I love martial arts is that I truly love the process of learning forms and love when my instructor challenges me to do a form through three times or go through old forms from white belt to black.

Or try an end reward. One that maybe works on your resolution? (See, this is why resolutions should be fun!) For instance, if you work out for an hour, you get to read a book for fun, watch a show you enjoy, or meet a friend for lunch.

3. Having expert advice. Do you have someone who can point out better ways of achieving your goals? Remember top athletes have coaches. Too often we get in the mindset we have to do things on our own. Yet this isn’t how most people learn or achieve.

If you don’t have someone pointing out what you’re doing right and what you can do better, you’re going to have a harder, longer path that less likely to end up where you want to go. Why do that to yourself? Make your path as easy as possible with others who will help. And likely you’ll reach your goal faster or even up your game more than you thought you could.

Sometimes we know people within our usual circles who can help achieve our goals. If you know someone already, ask them to give you some advice and to “spot” you as you implement it. However, too often those we know are stuck in the same level we are now. In that case, find someone who really is an expert in what you want to achieve and use them as a guide to achieving your goal.

For weight loss, try a nutritionist. For fitness, try a fitness instructor. For financial help, try a financial advisor. Many times your local librarian can help you find resources for all these that may even be free or at least lower cost. So you don’t have the additional obstacle of needing more money for some expert help.

Another good place to turn to are online communities. I am in a women’s financial group on Facebook where advice is given and received for free. The women are savvy and supportive. I frequently write down the advice that’s pertinent like what are some good finance books to read.

Your Money or Your Life is one terrific book I learned about from that FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) group. After reading the book, I’ve decided to implement the suggested income vs expenses graphing so I can track my budget. A friend also wants to stay within her budget and I suggested that book to her. (I recommend that to you, too, if you want to get better at achieving your financial goals.) The two of us are going to hold each other accountable at the end of each month so we actually achieve our goal of watching our budgets.

There are so many online communities you can join who offer sound advice to help you achieve your goal too. And you should share your knowledge and journey to give back to the community too. After all, you know at least what NOT to do even if you don’t have the perfect answers. And I bet you know more tricks that do work than you may give yourself credit for.

In sum, feel free to add a fun resolution even though it’s past January 1st. No one is going to stop you except yourself. For resolutions that are really goals, find ways to make it as much fun and social as you can so you’ll black belt your goals with persistence and consistency.